Haven't you wished that? To wake up in Wonderland? Not Alice's Wonderland but your wonderland. The place where everything that could go wrong doesn't. It's a picture perfect place and it is hard not to wish for that. Lately, I have been wishing for my wonderland. I don't know what it looks like or where it could be but that is what I keep searching for. I want to believe that maybe this world or this city that I have inhabited is my wonderland. But then I see everything around me and it is nothing but dread and sadness. It is not just the recent atrocities that has been occurring here on earth but my own personal downfalls that really seals the deal. I am by no means making this ludicrous comparison between the world's falling with mine but when your existence lies only in one person and body, I think it is safe to say you can't help but worry about your own problems. sometimes. You see, I am someone who tends to be extra sensitive to things concerning me and my family. If it is something I dislike then I will make sure you know it. If it doesn't make sense to me, then I won't want to make sense of it. I can be self-absorbed and selfish and ignorant of other people's problems but I try. I mean, I try really hard to understand everyone around me. Cause that is just who I am and despite this hard persona I try to display, it never works out. But you see, that's where it gets tricky. I get lost sometimes. I can't find a way out of this multifaceted construct I've build for myself. I want to be like this person or I want to behave this way but then, the next day I am someone different. Wake me up in Wonderland because maybe I'll know who I am there.
Mary
